beaconchurches

(Emailed from a friend)
Why, Why, Why?

Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why
do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough
money?

Why
does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check
when you say the paint is wet?

Why
doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why
do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why
doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why
does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver
at him?

Why
do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose
idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If
people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why
is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always
white?

Is
there ev er a day that mattresses are not on sale?


Why
do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to
eat will have materialized?

Why
do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,
then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one
more chance?

Why
is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first
try?

How
do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When
we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then
apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all
right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why
is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table
you always mana ge to knock something else over?

In
winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat?

How
come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And
my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from
some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're
okay, then it's you.

Do you know what would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men?
1. They would have asked directions
2. Arrived on time
3. Helped deliver the baby
4. Cleaned the stable
5. Made a casserole, and...
6. Brought practical gifts.