beaconchurches

I would like to ask for prayers for my husband Rob, primarily for discernment about his career and calling.

Background: Rob served as an assoc. pastor (5 yrs.) and sr. pastor (5 yrs.) in Lutheran churches before leaving due to misconduct. It was not a severe case (i.e. didn't sleep with anyone, no missing millions, etc.) and he did go through counseling as a result of it all. When he finished his counseling he was still so wounded by the church that he said the last thing he wanted to ever do again was be a pastor. Rob has been in banking for the last year, and while extremely successful in his job, he is miserable at it. He wants to explore other careers but isn’t sure what direction he should head in.

Rob has been attending my church (ABC, I’m the associate pastor) and in August started work as our youth minister (1/4 time). He’s brought a group of 5-8 kids that met sporadically to about 18-25 that now meet every week for Bible Study, at least half from outside of the congregation. 3 of the un-churched youth have come to Christ and sought baptism in the last month. He has had the opportunity to preach a few times, teach an adult Sunday School class and lead in other areas as well. He has been well received in all that he does.

My assessment: Rob is an extremely gifted pastor. People tend to feel an immediate connection with him and seek him out for counsel, comfort, and advice for whatever their issues are. That connection comes through very clearly in his preaching as well. He has very strong gifts in outreach and evangelism. His last church doubled in size under his leadership. He is also good at building up leaders, helping them develop ministries, and working to move ahead as a team.

He screwed up and strayed from the path God called him to (of being a pastor), but does that mean he should go down an entirely different path now or can/should he get back on the path he started on? He resigned from the clergy roster of his denomination (equivalent of the Professional Registry for ABC), so if going back to the pastorate is God’s calling, what would be the best on-ramp to take to get on that road? Is God calling him to use his gifts in a different career instead and if so, what? He’s thought about social work/counseling/teaching and many other options.

Anyway, we’ve got more questions than answers and wanted to seek the counsel of the wider body of Christ in all of this. We’ve got some trusted Christian friends in the church here who are praying, but it is not something we feel comfortable announcing in Sunday morning prayer request time for the congregation. So… would you please pray with us and for us and let us know if you receive a word from the Lord?

With gratitude in Christ,

Cindy White

I aslo have to add that Rob's spiritual life is very strong too. His devotional and prayer life leave me in the dust and he has demonstrated grace and forgiveness to many people when it is all I can do to refrain from punching their lights out. Throughout the past year and a half, his faith has pulled me out of darkness and despair more times than I can count.

Cindy,

I don't know you but thank you for your transparency. There are many people who have had much more experience with this than I have but I will be praying for discernment. I do pray things go well and you and Rob find peace-filled conclusions.

chip.

Cindy,

I'm sorry to hear about what has been going on in your life. Judy and I will be praying for you with confidence that God will make a way that is His way.

John

You both will be in my prayers as well.

<>< Ron Troup

Hi Cindy,

The gifts and the call of the Lord are without repentance. The best on ramp is the local church you currently are in. It may be that the Lord does not have him flying solo for reasons related to his frailty. (Though I observe we all have some of those.) The prayer team is an excellent beginning. And doing ministry, somehow, somewhere, no matter what it costs (it probably wont pay) is essential as well. Developing his ministry as part of your staff is an excellent beginning.

The issues of his woundedness by the church are a point of concern. Not asking for any details about Rob's missteps, but my guess is that he is the wounder not the woundee. I realize how harsh that sounds. Please forgive me. And please know that my falleness is so present before me. But in general, most of my problems, my woundedness included, are problems growing out of me, not out of the church. I can't imagine it is different in Rob's case. That doesnt excuse poor behavior of others. But their behavior is their problem, not ours. We are our own problem. It also makes sense to 'want to punch some people's lights out'. There are no pastors who are honest that have not had that sort of temptation. And your love for Rob makes you especially vulnerable.

Given Rob's grace and forgiveness, the pastorate may be a natural. It may not be available through the Lutheran church, however (presuming he has stayed in touch during the accountability process) they should be working to redeem his ministry. If he has fulfilled their expectations for redemption and they do not redeem him, he will need to look for anohter branch of the family of God through which to work.

As for being miserable in banking, I can't imagine why anyone would want to be a banker when the option of serving in ministry is a possibility. And when the banks start closing, (prophet of doom here...) the church will be a much better place to live and move and have our being.

The gifts and the call of the Lord are without repentance.

love
Art

Not to echo what Art so eloquently wrote but if ministry is working where you are, bloom where you are planted.

You and Rob will be in my prayers.

UPDATE

Thank you all for your prayers for Rob. He has received encouragement and affirmation from many directions to get back into pastoral ministry. The affirmation has come from people connected to his church ministry in both the distant and more recent past as well as indivuduals connected to his current ministry at church. Our congregation has been very affirming and supportive in so many ways. Rob is becoming an official Baptist. It's a bit weird (but in a good way!) to have your husband respond to one of your own altar calls to join the church and to commit himself to full-time ministry again. The church board voted to license him for ministry and he is now beginning the process to become ordained in the ABC-USA. We still value your continued prayers for that process. Committees, meetings, papers, etc. have their own challenges to cope with. We still don't know what this will look like in the future for pastoral ministry, but we didn't know 15 years ago either when we were looking toward serving in different denominations! God has been good through it all and we are continuing to trust in Him. We'll keep you all posted as things progress.

Cindy